AUGUSTA, GA – Emerson is a typical tween, in that she gets obsessed with something for like 6 weeks and then abandons it entirely. I have a hard time keeping up. There was the BTS obsession, the fleeting running-like-Naruto thing (that I don’t miss), and the Sebastian Stan obsession. And that’s all since about May of this year.
Emerson: “Oh, man! Amari got this thing that is so cool. It is a panda mask that-”
Me (absently as I’m cleaning the kitchen): “Yeah, I’ve seen those.”
Emerson: “You have?”
Me: “Sure, did you want one?”
Emerson: “Well, YEAH!”
Me: “Okay, I’ll pick one up at Walgreens.”
Emerson: “Thanks, mom! You’re the best.”
A week later…
Me (putting down groceries in the kitchen): “Oh, Em, I got that mask you wanted. It’s over on your desk.”
Korean cosmetics are trending right now. Or so the Internets tell me.
Emerson squeals and runs to the desk. Suddenly, I hear her cackling.
Me: “What?”
Emerson: “This isn’t the kind of mask I meant.”
Me (thoroughly confused): “Well… what kind did you mean?”
Emerson: “This kind!”
Stupid-looking Korean surgical masks are apparently ALSO trending – in Emerson’s health science classes, specifically.
Me: “What the heck is that?”
Emerson: “It keeps germs out of your mouth.”
Me: “Why do you need that?”
Emerson: “Well… I don’t, really.”
Me: “Okay, good, because I’m not ordering that.”
Emerson (still laughing): “You’re so adorable! Thanks, mom. You’re the best for trying.”
Me (muttering as I put away canned goods): “…Kids… weird trends… masks… what the heck even ARE those things…”
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